Every year we should challenge our status quo. Try activities we have never done before, set goals that challenge us physically and mentally and include ones where we can just let loose and have fun!
I think each one of us promise ourselves to take action when we see something inspiring on TV or read an amazing journey, our own personal dreams and goals come into our consciousness and we remind ourselves life is short, we should plan and take action today because tomorrow may be too late. Before you know it days pass, other items are put at the top of the “to do list” and our promise to ourselves fades away.
I encourage you to stop this vicious cycle and make a plan today to obtain what you have always wanted to do. Just because you’re a mother/father, wife/husband, career orientated, or has certain important responsibilities everyone should take the time and create a personal “to do list” and challenge themselves and enjoy life’s pleasures.
Primarily, goals we make focus on family life and career. At the end of the day our energy is low and our own personal goals get put on the back burner. We focus so much energy on everything else going on in our lives, why not reserve energy to create one “to do list” all about you! Trust me, make the time, find the energy, all aspects of your life will get better, people notice that change in energy, passion and most importantly you will feel the change deep inside your soul, like an awaking for your spirit. You will be a better parent, companion and career person because of it. This can’t be a onetime thing, continue to create a new list every year and just make it happen.
My own “to do list” for 2010 is
1) Try an activity I’ve never done before- Surfing
2) Run a 10 KM Marathon- Scotia Bank Bluenose Marathon (May 23, 2010)
3) Commit to going to Church every Sunday- Choose Church, encourage all members of my family to go, transfer my membership, volunteer.
4) Start & complete P90X fitness program
5) Plan a downhill skiing day for Troy and I
As I was writing all these items down I noticed a trend, most of my list is physical. A change in gears was needed
6) Start a Blog- Family Life Matters
7) Plan a Party- Birthday, Dinner, Thanks, Coasting
8) Get a tattoo
9) Pierce my ears
Everything in bold shows progress I have made or completion of the item on the list. Knowing me I will continue to add to the list. Final thoughts: My list motivates me & gives me that certain zest for life I love having.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Ways to keep your family Entertained for Less
1) Bake off- taste test
2) Make meals together
3) Play board games (including Hang Man, X & O’s)
4) Movie Night
5) Read a book together- taking turns reading each page, discuss themes, etc
6) Nature walks, swimming, etc- summer exercise activities
7) Coasting, skating, skiing, etc- winter exercise activities
8) Participate together while doing an exercise video
9) Draw, color, paint
10) Go to the library
11) Go to a local park
12) Play ball or Soccer
13) Bubbles
14) Picnic
15) Gardening- picking weeds, piling leaves, planting seeds or making a vegetable garden
16) Camping in your own backyard
17) Go to the beach- look for rocks, seashells, etc
18) Hopscotch
19) Get creative with Chalk on the sidewalk
20) Create your own Craft
21) Cell phone games
22) Play music/create your own family band
23) Dance
24) Sing karaoke
25) Volunteer at your local church or join local groups
26) Create your own theater play
27) See a sporting game at your local High School
The above list contains some activities that are more geared or age appropriate for one child than another. Depending on your kids ages, use your judgment.
Also factor in your child’s tastes. For example:
My oldest is 14 and loves gaming, TV, etc. He will be more willing to play board games, dance and listen to music, act, and engage in movie night.
My middle boy who is 3 loves to bake. He would be more geared to help in the Kitchen to make meals, bake, go to the park and read a book together.
My youngest girl is only 1, she would love going to the beach, having a picnic and gardening.
These ideas help keep our families: emotionally stable, humble, aids parents in getting to know our children as they age and of course keeps our creative juices flowing.
2) Make meals together
3) Play board games (including Hang Man, X & O’s)
4) Movie Night
5) Read a book together- taking turns reading each page, discuss themes, etc
6) Nature walks, swimming, etc- summer exercise activities
7) Coasting, skating, skiing, etc- winter exercise activities
8) Participate together while doing an exercise video
9) Draw, color, paint
10) Go to the library
11) Go to a local park
12) Play ball or Soccer
13) Bubbles
14) Picnic
15) Gardening- picking weeds, piling leaves, planting seeds or making a vegetable garden
16) Camping in your own backyard
17) Go to the beach- look for rocks, seashells, etc
18) Hopscotch
19) Get creative with Chalk on the sidewalk
20) Create your own Craft
21) Cell phone games
22) Play music/create your own family band
23) Dance
24) Sing karaoke
25) Volunteer at your local church or join local groups
26) Create your own theater play
27) See a sporting game at your local High School
The above list contains some activities that are more geared or age appropriate for one child than another. Depending on your kids ages, use your judgment.
Also factor in your child’s tastes. For example:
My oldest is 14 and loves gaming, TV, etc. He will be more willing to play board games, dance and listen to music, act, and engage in movie night.
My middle boy who is 3 loves to bake. He would be more geared to help in the Kitchen to make meals, bake, go to the park and read a book together.
My youngest girl is only 1, she would love going to the beach, having a picnic and gardening.
These ideas help keep our families: emotionally stable, humble, aids parents in getting to know our children as they age and of course keeps our creative juices flowing.
Our Christmas Mircle- My life
Everyday someone’s life changes, it can be positive or negative. Either way we just don’t count on it being our lives.
God has always been a very dear friend to me. My watcher, protector and teacher... On December 17th, he was my savior. I have always been a spiritual person... Due to life experiences I know God and my family members that have passed on have taken great care of me. They have saved me numerous times from my failure in judgment and destructive behaviors.
I’ve always known life changes in a second. In the media, we typically read about negative stories and rarely the inspiring ones. I would like to think I live in the moment, making each day count. Don’t get me wrong, I catch myself all the time sweating the small stuff and then lecturing myself shortly after regarding being a better person, mother, wife, daughter, and friend. It’s something we all consciously tactual. How to improve our lives? In our society we can’t help ourselves but focus on the trivial things: is the house clean? Magazine worthy? Another common trait among our culture is keeping up with the Jones mentality. Most of us are guilt of this at some point in our lives. When it’s just you and your mortality, the above doesn’t matter. All that is important is our humanity and moral imprint.
One of these personally changing moments happened on December 17th 2009. I say personally because I am unsure of how my family has dealt with the gravity of what happened. There has been no discussion. The reason for this could be because they don’t want to upset me or maybe the single reason is they have put this behind them. There is no right or wrong way to deal with sensitive issues, everyone has coping mechanisms. I’m a writer. Once I put everything down on paper, I can move on. Writing is the only way I can deal with my emotions. The events of December 17th have left an imprint on my soul, just like all the other experiences and traumas; they make me the person I am today.
On December 17th, 33 years ago, my husband was born. Troy took the day off of work for his birthday to do some construction in our unfinished basement and receive the delivery coming from Sears of the new bedroom set for Zachary. Our evening b-day plans where low key: pizza and cake with the possibility of a surprise visit from Troy’s parents. Troy’s Grandmother was not well and her time on this earth was coming to a close. Although Troy’s dad advised they would be coming, since our conversation the status of Troy’s grandmother had deteriorated and I was unsure if they would be able to make the trip.
In addition to Troy’s birthday, our first Ultra Sound for baby # 4 was scheduled for 12:30pm at the Moncton Hospital. Troy and I would be able to relax once the results were revealed which ensured the pregnancy was progressing well and this bleeding was nothing concerning. Troy called and advised the bedroom set was delivered and he would be accompanying me to the appointment. He picked me up at work and we headed down to the Hospital. Troy told me in the waiting room that even if the bedroom set had not been delivered he was coming with me. When I was pregnant with Ethan and Chloe the wait time was 3 hours for both of my Ultra Sounds. This time around I was in the Ultra Sound room in ½ hour. Troy waited outside as I followed the imaging technician into the private room. The jelly is applied and tech starts looking for Baby 4. She advises my bladder is not full enough to get an image; we will have to use another technique.
The image tech provides a gown and directs me to the washroom to change. Once back in the room the tech starts asking a few questions, such as when my last period was, etc. I explained the situation: Oct 8 first day of my last period, spotting for two weeks and heavy bleeding for a week, no bleeding for two weeks and heavy bleeding again. As the Ultra sound progressed, there was something in the tech’s tone that made me nervous and anxious. Something was wrong. As silly as it sounds I had not prepared myself for complications. After the tech finished she advised she would be back in a few minutes, she needed to get the images that she had just taken. After 5 minutes she came back, advised me to get dressed and she would call over to Dr. Gillespie.
When I came out of the bathroom fully dressed the tech looked at me and said, I just spoke with Dr. Gillespie, and he wants you to go to the Emergency Room immediately. I am taken aback; the various complications are running through my head on why they are sending me to the ER. Just as I get to Troy in the waiting room, I burst into tears; Troy asks what’s wrong, what happened... I tell him, I have no idea... I explained that the tech spoke to Dr. Gillespie after the Ultra Sound and he told her I need to go down to the Emergency Room right away.
Troy was wonderful in trying to calm me down but I was freaking out. I knew it could be one of two things. An ectopic pregnancy or the baby was partly aborted, this would explain all the bleeding and they would need to remove what was still left in the Uterus. When I found out I was pregnant I did a lot of research. I knew my risk was very high to have an ectopic pregnancy since my tubes where tied. I knew that if that was the case I was in major trouble. I was 11 weeks pregnant! From the literature I read, most ectopic pregnancies are found out at 7 weeks or between 5-8 weeks.
Troy and I got to the Emergency Room, which had drastically changed since the last time we had been there. A security guard/desk meets you when you come in the door. I explained that I had been instructed to come here from the Ultra sound/Imaging department. He looks at me dumbfounded and points to a room full of chairs and people. He tells me to take a seat and that I have to see the Triage nurse. I explained again that I had been sent down here, they should be expecting me. He points to the admitting desk and advises she may be able to help me. I go over to the admitting desk and advise the situation. This lady looks at me like I’m trying to pull a fast one to get a head of the pack. She has no idea who I am, points to the chairs and advises to take a seat.
While wait my turn, another person arrives in the ER, the guard points to a line of 6 chairs as the proper place to sit when waiting to see the Triage nurse. I look over at Troy and advised I’m sitting in the wrong spot. I move to the right seats, pissed that the guard couldn’t point out the “right” seats to me. Finally, when the triage nurse opens the door to see the next patient in line, the patient next in line tells the nurse: a girl just came in who was sent down here from another department, she needs to be seen. The nurse asks where this girl is, to my surprise the lady points to me. This lady didn’t have to say anything, wait times are long enough but she was willing to give up her spot to help me. I was really moved by her kindness.
I’m taken into another room and explain the basis: 11 weeks pregnant, had a tubal ligation, bleeding, just had my first ultra sound and was sent down to the ER by Dr. Gillespie. She advises that they did get a note to do blood work. The nurse sends me back out into the waiting room with my new hospital bracelet. I advise Troy the nurse said all they were instructed was to do blood work. I advise there is no way they sent me down here for blood work only and scare us like this.
They call my name shortly after and I’m shown into a room. A nurse comes and draws my blood and advises that Dr. Gillespie will be down shortly to speak to me and advise what is going on.
While we wait for Dr. Gillespie, Troy and I make light conversation. I tell him, he is likely wishing the furniture was not yet delivered and he was still home enjoying his birthday rather than sitting in a hospital room. He ignores me. We both know that he is glad he is with me regardless of what the news is.
I see Dr. Gillespie come to the front desk; he sits down and starts reading a file. I know this is my file. I see him rubbing his mouth, face, reading intently. I know this is not good.
He walks in the room, looks at me and asks how I’m doing. I advise I’m ok but wondering what is going on? Dr. Gillespie asks if I’m in any pain, I advise no. He advises it’s an ectopic pregnancy. To assist him on explaining exactly what is going on an illustration is used. Dr. Gillespie explains in a regular ectopic pregnancy the embryo embeds itself in the middle of the fallopian tube. In my case, because the tube was cut and a small piece of tissue formed a tunnel from one severed tube to the other in which the embryo passed through but stopped just short of the Uterus. He explains that my case is incredibly dangerous because the embryo has implanted itself in the smallest part of my fallopian tube. This part is full of lots of blood vessels, etc which makes things extremely complicated & dangerous. He advises that I will be having emergency surgery at approximately 6pm. Since I ate around 12pm, they have to wait 6 hours before they can operate.
Dr. Gillespie advises that they will do a laparoscopy (small incision at the belly button) to verify the Ultra Sound results, if they can remove the embryo this way they will however, if they cannot they will make an incision along my C-Section scar to remove the pregnancy and depending on the damage and how the removal goes, they may have to do a hysterectomy (removal of my uterus). They will not know exactly what will need to be done until they get me in surgery. While Dr. Gillespie is explaining this to me via drawing, Troy excuses himself advising he is going to be sick. I thought that Troy was getting queasy with what the doctor was saying but Troy advised later because he had not eaten and with the anxiousness of the day’s events he felt nausea. When Troy came back into the room Dr. Gillespie had finished explaining the procedure. Troy asked, are terminating the pregnancy? I knew from my research there is no choice, termination is a must for an ectopic pregnancy. Dr. Gillespie advised yes and then explains the baby had no heart beat. This information is heartbreaking but then again it really aided in allowing me to deal with the fact of termination. It would have been devastating if the baby was doing really well and then we had to terminate the pregnancy.
This emergency surgery was critical in ensuring my health. After the news Troy immediately when out to contact my parents to advise what was going on and they needed to come up to Moncton immediately. Troy could not get a hold of my parents. The next call was to his parents. Troy spoke to his sister, once he told her what was going on, she advised that mom & dad Sampson where on their way up to surprise Troy for his birthday. Troy’s parents ended up being only ½ hour away from Moncton. Karen & Michael came from one Hospital on their end with Troy’s Grandmother to another Hospital.
In the next ½ hour my IV was started, Karen and Michael arrived at the hospital and Karen and Troy when off to pick up the kids and organize things so he could get back to me in time for the surgery. Michael kept me company and did a great job keeping my mind off of things. I felt positive about making it through the surgery safe and sound and being able to see my 3 children and husband. I was extremely confident in my surgeon. I knew from my 2 previous C-Sections with Dr. Gillespie he was wonderful both as a doctor throughout the pregnancy and the C-sections went amazingly. Even though I still got pregnant after the tubal ligation, nothing is 100% and I had no anger towards him. Shit happens and my husband and I were excited to be blessed with another child. My family doctor asked who I wanted for an OBGYN I never gave it a second thought, Dr. Gillespie was my response. I wanted him and only him. Only instead of delivering my 4th child he saves my life.
A gentlemen nurse comes and advises it’s time to go. He wheels my bed to the operating room. I say my goodbyes and am parked in the corner outside the operating rooms. Dr. Gillespie comes in shortly and asks, how you doing kiddo? I advise I’m good, but deep down I’m starting to get anxious and nervous. He explains the surgery again and advises he will try to do as little surgery as possible. It’s funny but Dr. Gillespie has called my kiddo through both of my pregnancies and I’m not that much younger than his wife, maybe 5 years or so. I tend to get a young name such as, girly, kid (do), etc. Not sure what I’m putting out there to be securing these names. I digress...
After Dr. Gillespie finishes his conversation he takes a seat at a string of computers. Dr. Gillespie logs in and starts watching You Tube? I don’t have my glasses on but that’s what looks is like. Then him and the other nurse start discussing have you seen this clip and that clip. I can’t help but chuckle to myself, You Tube before surgery. A useful tool in distraction before surgery and one my son would be proud of.
Finally, I am wheeled into the operating room, I transfer beds and heart monitors are hooked up. I’m told to breath in oxygen coming from a stinky rubber mask but all it does is take my breath away. The anesthesiologist advises she is administering the anesthesia. The veins in my arm feel like someone just put acid in the IV. I ask her if this is normal, she advises it does sting going in. The other nurse says goodnight, I remember thinking to myself that was quick, that was the last thing I remember until the recovery room.
The main thing I remember when I woke up was the severe pain. I’ve been through 3 C-Sections and minor surgery such as tonsils & wisdom teeth but have never felt pain like this before. You know you’ve had a painful surgery when they have a pain clicker (I could administer the pain medication to myself from the pain pump hooked up to my IV) pined to your hospital gown.
Troy told me that first night I kept pushing the button every couple of seconds and was completely out of it. All I remember is talking about the pain and how parched I was. Every time I spoke my lips got stuck to my teeth and Troy told me my lips & face were really swollen. I think if the shoe had been on the other foot how I might have giggled. I’m sure I was quite the sight. I was wheeled to a semi private room on the Maternity floor and put with an elderly lady. I have no idea what procedure she had done only that she had bags to empty and was no stranger to the hospital.
My neighbor was a class act, she was extremely loud, wanted to engage in an hour conversation with each and every nurse that came into the room. She was eating cookies that first night and crunched so loud that even in the state I was in all I heard was her chopping on these cookies. Finally when I thought she was finished she asked for more.
The pain medication they had me on was some type of morphine. This caused me to fall asleep for 5 minutes and then startle myself awake. It would take another 15 minutes to fall back asleep. I went through the whole night like this. This was the longest night of my life. By the next morning I was beyond exhausted. While I was waiting for Troy and my mother to arrive Dr. Gillespie came in to check on me and to discuss the surgery. He explained that after the laparoscopy, they were not able to remove the pregnancy this way; they made an incision on my c-section scar and removed it that way. Part of my uterus and the fallopian tube that contained the embryo where removed. Troy had told me after my surgery that Dr. Gillespie just kept saying what a lucky girl I was and Troy had seen a picture of the embryo in the tube. He said it looked like an eye ball bulging out of the tube. Dr. Gillespie told me that if the tube had ruptured I would not have survived. He told me he had only seen one other case like mine in 15 years it was when he was doing his training. The other girl was in the hospital when the tube ruptured and that was the only reason she survived. He said I was extremely lucky they got me when they did. He said Kirsten you’re what we call an interesting case. No one wants to be an interesting case. With that he told me I could leave tomorrow, I would be off of work for 6 weeks and would see me soon.
In times like this, there is just so much to think about, emotions, what if’s, all that has happened. I was still in shock with what Dr. Gillespie told me. My family doctor came in a minute later and she said she was doing her rounds and she saw my name. She read my chart and was in shock. I explained what happened and as I got to the part of what Dr. Gillespie told me... I would not have survived if my tube ruptured, I burst in tears. She tells me it’s ok; it’s a lot to deal with! You have to come to terms with it but don’t focus on it, move past it. She’s exactly right but she knows all the emotions are coming at once. My mom and Troy walk in asking what is going on and Dr. Skanes explains the gravity of it all is hitting me all at once...
I explain what Dr. Gillespie said. Troy said that when Dr. Gillespie told him after surgery I was one lucky girl, Troy knew exactly what he was saying. When Troy told me that, it did not compute the same. I guess I didn’t realize the gravity of it all until Dr. Gillespie told it to me straight.
The next visitor was the pain manager. To see how I was getting along with the pain pump. I told her my pain level out of 6.5 out of 10. She explained we must get it lower than that. She explained how the pump works. You have to press the button to get the medication. I thought that when the pain was really bad you press the button but the pump supplied a constant base of medication. The lady advises that is unfortunately and that now I know the difference and she would be back to see how I was doing. She never did come back but it could be because I asked for the morphine drip/IV to be removed. I knew it was preventing me from getting any sleep and I would rather have Tylenol and sleep than my status quo.
I was drowsy all day, when anyone visited me I told them ok you can leave I’m going to sleep. Just as my guest left in came one for my neighbour. All day she had visitors, loud visitors. Luckily Troy brought in my ear plugs, this did not stop the noise but at least it kept it at a dull roar. When her guests left, visiting hours where over and I was thankful to know that I would finally get some sleep. My oldest son Zach was the only child I wanted come see me at the hospital. When he came, I was getting up for the first time in 24 hours. I was extremely dizzy & nauseous... It wasn’t much of a visit. I was so sick I couldn’t even focus on the fact he was even there.
Someone earlier had made the comment how red my face was but when I finally saw my face it was purple not red. The nurse and I figured the type of Ibuprofen was causing some sort of allergic reaction. My doctor approved Advil as an alternative. I slept fairly well my last night at the hospital. When I woke up through the night, I was so sick I was dry heaving in the garbage. This is not what you want to happen after a surgery that involves cutting stomach muscles and such. I beep the nurse for Gravol, she comes with a pill and water, and I’m that bad I tell her I cannot swallow that. She said she will come back with an injection. I don’t remember her coming in my room again but because the next time I woke up, I felt so much better I knew she must of gave me that injection, I just slept through it!
The final morning at the hospital I finally felt like eating. My sister came with Troy and I was told right away I could leave; all the paper work was done. This was amazing! With Chloe it took the nurse 6 hours + to get our paper work in order. I’ve never been so happy to leave.
The night before I was able to leave, Troy was sitting with me and all of a sudden red lights started flashing in the hall, the nurses where hollering a particular (color) code, everyone was running to the room beside us. Troy and I look at each other; there was no need to say anything, lives change in a second. We know how precious life is and I’m so thankful to God and my family for there amazing support through this trying time.
God has always been a very dear friend to me. My watcher, protector and teacher... On December 17th, he was my savior. I have always been a spiritual person... Due to life experiences I know God and my family members that have passed on have taken great care of me. They have saved me numerous times from my failure in judgment and destructive behaviors.
I’ve always known life changes in a second. In the media, we typically read about negative stories and rarely the inspiring ones. I would like to think I live in the moment, making each day count. Don’t get me wrong, I catch myself all the time sweating the small stuff and then lecturing myself shortly after regarding being a better person, mother, wife, daughter, and friend. It’s something we all consciously tactual. How to improve our lives? In our society we can’t help ourselves but focus on the trivial things: is the house clean? Magazine worthy? Another common trait among our culture is keeping up with the Jones mentality. Most of us are guilt of this at some point in our lives. When it’s just you and your mortality, the above doesn’t matter. All that is important is our humanity and moral imprint.
One of these personally changing moments happened on December 17th 2009. I say personally because I am unsure of how my family has dealt with the gravity of what happened. There has been no discussion. The reason for this could be because they don’t want to upset me or maybe the single reason is they have put this behind them. There is no right or wrong way to deal with sensitive issues, everyone has coping mechanisms. I’m a writer. Once I put everything down on paper, I can move on. Writing is the only way I can deal with my emotions. The events of December 17th have left an imprint on my soul, just like all the other experiences and traumas; they make me the person I am today.
On December 17th, 33 years ago, my husband was born. Troy took the day off of work for his birthday to do some construction in our unfinished basement and receive the delivery coming from Sears of the new bedroom set for Zachary. Our evening b-day plans where low key: pizza and cake with the possibility of a surprise visit from Troy’s parents. Troy’s Grandmother was not well and her time on this earth was coming to a close. Although Troy’s dad advised they would be coming, since our conversation the status of Troy’s grandmother had deteriorated and I was unsure if they would be able to make the trip.
In addition to Troy’s birthday, our first Ultra Sound for baby # 4 was scheduled for 12:30pm at the Moncton Hospital. Troy and I would be able to relax once the results were revealed which ensured the pregnancy was progressing well and this bleeding was nothing concerning. Troy called and advised the bedroom set was delivered and he would be accompanying me to the appointment. He picked me up at work and we headed down to the Hospital. Troy told me in the waiting room that even if the bedroom set had not been delivered he was coming with me. When I was pregnant with Ethan and Chloe the wait time was 3 hours for both of my Ultra Sounds. This time around I was in the Ultra Sound room in ½ hour. Troy waited outside as I followed the imaging technician into the private room. The jelly is applied and tech starts looking for Baby 4. She advises my bladder is not full enough to get an image; we will have to use another technique.
The image tech provides a gown and directs me to the washroom to change. Once back in the room the tech starts asking a few questions, such as when my last period was, etc. I explained the situation: Oct 8 first day of my last period, spotting for two weeks and heavy bleeding for a week, no bleeding for two weeks and heavy bleeding again. As the Ultra sound progressed, there was something in the tech’s tone that made me nervous and anxious. Something was wrong. As silly as it sounds I had not prepared myself for complications. After the tech finished she advised she would be back in a few minutes, she needed to get the images that she had just taken. After 5 minutes she came back, advised me to get dressed and she would call over to Dr. Gillespie.
When I came out of the bathroom fully dressed the tech looked at me and said, I just spoke with Dr. Gillespie, and he wants you to go to the Emergency Room immediately. I am taken aback; the various complications are running through my head on why they are sending me to the ER. Just as I get to Troy in the waiting room, I burst into tears; Troy asks what’s wrong, what happened... I tell him, I have no idea... I explained that the tech spoke to Dr. Gillespie after the Ultra Sound and he told her I need to go down to the Emergency Room right away.
Troy was wonderful in trying to calm me down but I was freaking out. I knew it could be one of two things. An ectopic pregnancy or the baby was partly aborted, this would explain all the bleeding and they would need to remove what was still left in the Uterus. When I found out I was pregnant I did a lot of research. I knew my risk was very high to have an ectopic pregnancy since my tubes where tied. I knew that if that was the case I was in major trouble. I was 11 weeks pregnant! From the literature I read, most ectopic pregnancies are found out at 7 weeks or between 5-8 weeks.
Troy and I got to the Emergency Room, which had drastically changed since the last time we had been there. A security guard/desk meets you when you come in the door. I explained that I had been instructed to come here from the Ultra sound/Imaging department. He looks at me dumbfounded and points to a room full of chairs and people. He tells me to take a seat and that I have to see the Triage nurse. I explained again that I had been sent down here, they should be expecting me. He points to the admitting desk and advises she may be able to help me. I go over to the admitting desk and advise the situation. This lady looks at me like I’m trying to pull a fast one to get a head of the pack. She has no idea who I am, points to the chairs and advises to take a seat.
While wait my turn, another person arrives in the ER, the guard points to a line of 6 chairs as the proper place to sit when waiting to see the Triage nurse. I look over at Troy and advised I’m sitting in the wrong spot. I move to the right seats, pissed that the guard couldn’t point out the “right” seats to me. Finally, when the triage nurse opens the door to see the next patient in line, the patient next in line tells the nurse: a girl just came in who was sent down here from another department, she needs to be seen. The nurse asks where this girl is, to my surprise the lady points to me. This lady didn’t have to say anything, wait times are long enough but she was willing to give up her spot to help me. I was really moved by her kindness.
I’m taken into another room and explain the basis: 11 weeks pregnant, had a tubal ligation, bleeding, just had my first ultra sound and was sent down to the ER by Dr. Gillespie. She advises that they did get a note to do blood work. The nurse sends me back out into the waiting room with my new hospital bracelet. I advise Troy the nurse said all they were instructed was to do blood work. I advise there is no way they sent me down here for blood work only and scare us like this.
They call my name shortly after and I’m shown into a room. A nurse comes and draws my blood and advises that Dr. Gillespie will be down shortly to speak to me and advise what is going on.
While we wait for Dr. Gillespie, Troy and I make light conversation. I tell him, he is likely wishing the furniture was not yet delivered and he was still home enjoying his birthday rather than sitting in a hospital room. He ignores me. We both know that he is glad he is with me regardless of what the news is.
I see Dr. Gillespie come to the front desk; he sits down and starts reading a file. I know this is my file. I see him rubbing his mouth, face, reading intently. I know this is not good.
He walks in the room, looks at me and asks how I’m doing. I advise I’m ok but wondering what is going on? Dr. Gillespie asks if I’m in any pain, I advise no. He advises it’s an ectopic pregnancy. To assist him on explaining exactly what is going on an illustration is used. Dr. Gillespie explains in a regular ectopic pregnancy the embryo embeds itself in the middle of the fallopian tube. In my case, because the tube was cut and a small piece of tissue formed a tunnel from one severed tube to the other in which the embryo passed through but stopped just short of the Uterus. He explains that my case is incredibly dangerous because the embryo has implanted itself in the smallest part of my fallopian tube. This part is full of lots of blood vessels, etc which makes things extremely complicated & dangerous. He advises that I will be having emergency surgery at approximately 6pm. Since I ate around 12pm, they have to wait 6 hours before they can operate.
Dr. Gillespie advises that they will do a laparoscopy (small incision at the belly button) to verify the Ultra Sound results, if they can remove the embryo this way they will however, if they cannot they will make an incision along my C-Section scar to remove the pregnancy and depending on the damage and how the removal goes, they may have to do a hysterectomy (removal of my uterus). They will not know exactly what will need to be done until they get me in surgery. While Dr. Gillespie is explaining this to me via drawing, Troy excuses himself advising he is going to be sick. I thought that Troy was getting queasy with what the doctor was saying but Troy advised later because he had not eaten and with the anxiousness of the day’s events he felt nausea. When Troy came back into the room Dr. Gillespie had finished explaining the procedure. Troy asked, are terminating the pregnancy? I knew from my research there is no choice, termination is a must for an ectopic pregnancy. Dr. Gillespie advised yes and then explains the baby had no heart beat. This information is heartbreaking but then again it really aided in allowing me to deal with the fact of termination. It would have been devastating if the baby was doing really well and then we had to terminate the pregnancy.
This emergency surgery was critical in ensuring my health. After the news Troy immediately when out to contact my parents to advise what was going on and they needed to come up to Moncton immediately. Troy could not get a hold of my parents. The next call was to his parents. Troy spoke to his sister, once he told her what was going on, she advised that mom & dad Sampson where on their way up to surprise Troy for his birthday. Troy’s parents ended up being only ½ hour away from Moncton. Karen & Michael came from one Hospital on their end with Troy’s Grandmother to another Hospital.
In the next ½ hour my IV was started, Karen and Michael arrived at the hospital and Karen and Troy when off to pick up the kids and organize things so he could get back to me in time for the surgery. Michael kept me company and did a great job keeping my mind off of things. I felt positive about making it through the surgery safe and sound and being able to see my 3 children and husband. I was extremely confident in my surgeon. I knew from my 2 previous C-Sections with Dr. Gillespie he was wonderful both as a doctor throughout the pregnancy and the C-sections went amazingly. Even though I still got pregnant after the tubal ligation, nothing is 100% and I had no anger towards him. Shit happens and my husband and I were excited to be blessed with another child. My family doctor asked who I wanted for an OBGYN I never gave it a second thought, Dr. Gillespie was my response. I wanted him and only him. Only instead of delivering my 4th child he saves my life.
A gentlemen nurse comes and advises it’s time to go. He wheels my bed to the operating room. I say my goodbyes and am parked in the corner outside the operating rooms. Dr. Gillespie comes in shortly and asks, how you doing kiddo? I advise I’m good, but deep down I’m starting to get anxious and nervous. He explains the surgery again and advises he will try to do as little surgery as possible. It’s funny but Dr. Gillespie has called my kiddo through both of my pregnancies and I’m not that much younger than his wife, maybe 5 years or so. I tend to get a young name such as, girly, kid (do), etc. Not sure what I’m putting out there to be securing these names. I digress...
After Dr. Gillespie finishes his conversation he takes a seat at a string of computers. Dr. Gillespie logs in and starts watching You Tube? I don’t have my glasses on but that’s what looks is like. Then him and the other nurse start discussing have you seen this clip and that clip. I can’t help but chuckle to myself, You Tube before surgery. A useful tool in distraction before surgery and one my son would be proud of.
Finally, I am wheeled into the operating room, I transfer beds and heart monitors are hooked up. I’m told to breath in oxygen coming from a stinky rubber mask but all it does is take my breath away. The anesthesiologist advises she is administering the anesthesia. The veins in my arm feel like someone just put acid in the IV. I ask her if this is normal, she advises it does sting going in. The other nurse says goodnight, I remember thinking to myself that was quick, that was the last thing I remember until the recovery room.
The main thing I remember when I woke up was the severe pain. I’ve been through 3 C-Sections and minor surgery such as tonsils & wisdom teeth but have never felt pain like this before. You know you’ve had a painful surgery when they have a pain clicker (I could administer the pain medication to myself from the pain pump hooked up to my IV) pined to your hospital gown.
Troy told me that first night I kept pushing the button every couple of seconds and was completely out of it. All I remember is talking about the pain and how parched I was. Every time I spoke my lips got stuck to my teeth and Troy told me my lips & face were really swollen. I think if the shoe had been on the other foot how I might have giggled. I’m sure I was quite the sight. I was wheeled to a semi private room on the Maternity floor and put with an elderly lady. I have no idea what procedure she had done only that she had bags to empty and was no stranger to the hospital.
My neighbor was a class act, she was extremely loud, wanted to engage in an hour conversation with each and every nurse that came into the room. She was eating cookies that first night and crunched so loud that even in the state I was in all I heard was her chopping on these cookies. Finally when I thought she was finished she asked for more.
The pain medication they had me on was some type of morphine. This caused me to fall asleep for 5 minutes and then startle myself awake. It would take another 15 minutes to fall back asleep. I went through the whole night like this. This was the longest night of my life. By the next morning I was beyond exhausted. While I was waiting for Troy and my mother to arrive Dr. Gillespie came in to check on me and to discuss the surgery. He explained that after the laparoscopy, they were not able to remove the pregnancy this way; they made an incision on my c-section scar and removed it that way. Part of my uterus and the fallopian tube that contained the embryo where removed. Troy had told me after my surgery that Dr. Gillespie just kept saying what a lucky girl I was and Troy had seen a picture of the embryo in the tube. He said it looked like an eye ball bulging out of the tube. Dr. Gillespie told me that if the tube had ruptured I would not have survived. He told me he had only seen one other case like mine in 15 years it was when he was doing his training. The other girl was in the hospital when the tube ruptured and that was the only reason she survived. He said I was extremely lucky they got me when they did. He said Kirsten you’re what we call an interesting case. No one wants to be an interesting case. With that he told me I could leave tomorrow, I would be off of work for 6 weeks and would see me soon.
In times like this, there is just so much to think about, emotions, what if’s, all that has happened. I was still in shock with what Dr. Gillespie told me. My family doctor came in a minute later and she said she was doing her rounds and she saw my name. She read my chart and was in shock. I explained what happened and as I got to the part of what Dr. Gillespie told me... I would not have survived if my tube ruptured, I burst in tears. She tells me it’s ok; it’s a lot to deal with! You have to come to terms with it but don’t focus on it, move past it. She’s exactly right but she knows all the emotions are coming at once. My mom and Troy walk in asking what is going on and Dr. Skanes explains the gravity of it all is hitting me all at once...
I explain what Dr. Gillespie said. Troy said that when Dr. Gillespie told him after surgery I was one lucky girl, Troy knew exactly what he was saying. When Troy told me that, it did not compute the same. I guess I didn’t realize the gravity of it all until Dr. Gillespie told it to me straight.
The next visitor was the pain manager. To see how I was getting along with the pain pump. I told her my pain level out of 6.5 out of 10. She explained we must get it lower than that. She explained how the pump works. You have to press the button to get the medication. I thought that when the pain was really bad you press the button but the pump supplied a constant base of medication. The lady advises that is unfortunately and that now I know the difference and she would be back to see how I was doing. She never did come back but it could be because I asked for the morphine drip/IV to be removed. I knew it was preventing me from getting any sleep and I would rather have Tylenol and sleep than my status quo.
I was drowsy all day, when anyone visited me I told them ok you can leave I’m going to sleep. Just as my guest left in came one for my neighbour. All day she had visitors, loud visitors. Luckily Troy brought in my ear plugs, this did not stop the noise but at least it kept it at a dull roar. When her guests left, visiting hours where over and I was thankful to know that I would finally get some sleep. My oldest son Zach was the only child I wanted come see me at the hospital. When he came, I was getting up for the first time in 24 hours. I was extremely dizzy & nauseous... It wasn’t much of a visit. I was so sick I couldn’t even focus on the fact he was even there.
Someone earlier had made the comment how red my face was but when I finally saw my face it was purple not red. The nurse and I figured the type of Ibuprofen was causing some sort of allergic reaction. My doctor approved Advil as an alternative. I slept fairly well my last night at the hospital. When I woke up through the night, I was so sick I was dry heaving in the garbage. This is not what you want to happen after a surgery that involves cutting stomach muscles and such. I beep the nurse for Gravol, she comes with a pill and water, and I’m that bad I tell her I cannot swallow that. She said she will come back with an injection. I don’t remember her coming in my room again but because the next time I woke up, I felt so much better I knew she must of gave me that injection, I just slept through it!
The final morning at the hospital I finally felt like eating. My sister came with Troy and I was told right away I could leave; all the paper work was done. This was amazing! With Chloe it took the nurse 6 hours + to get our paper work in order. I’ve never been so happy to leave.
The night before I was able to leave, Troy was sitting with me and all of a sudden red lights started flashing in the hall, the nurses where hollering a particular (color) code, everyone was running to the room beside us. Troy and I look at each other; there was no need to say anything, lives change in a second. We know how precious life is and I’m so thankful to God and my family for there amazing support through this trying time.
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